Sunday, November 29, 2009

Missing a part of my heart


**ALERT** No card updates, just sad news and sappy reminiscing. If you only visit for paper crafting updates, you can skip this post.


I have been dreading an update to the blog due to the way our Vegas trip ended. The Vegas trip was so nice and VERY RELAXING. It was wonderful not having to rush around completing tasks like a chicken with my head cut off, but the vacation ended poorly. We weren't supposed to get into Houston until 10pm Monday night. Starting Saturday night the little voice in my head, which I call God, was telling me over and over and over we needed to get home early Monday so we could pick up the fur babies from boarding one day early. I did all I could to get us on that plane early Monday morning. Plane landed, we headed straight for boarding center to pick up the fur babies. All was well until several hours after we arrived home. Kona started hiding under the bed, which he NEVER does. He is usually in the same room with us being playful and loving on us. This was not the case. We started watching him. He became lethargic then close to 10 pm, he started howling and crying in pain when we were loving on him. We rushed him to the Emergency clinic to find out he had Arterial Thromboembolism. Basically blood clot killed him after causing deep pain paralysis, hence the howling caused by the pain. We didn't get home until 3am. While researching this disease, I found this is something that doesn't show signs or any kind of warning and 95% of the time they pass within 24 - 48 hours.

Despite the lack of sleep, I forced myself go to work Tuesday. I just couldn’t lie around and cry. It hurt too much and I felt like I was going to die from the pain and grief. I was practically non-functional. I really believe these babies are our family and in some cases, closer than regular family.

I now know why God was telling me to go home early. I never would have forgiven myself if we received a call that morning letting us know he was already gone. God sent us home so that Kona would have his loving parents with him in has last hours.

I want to have a memory layout dedicated to him, but it’s still too early in the grieving process. I realized I am scheduling way too many things than I am capable of completing to occupy my time and keep from thinking about what happened. You know how you keep yourself so busy, you don’t have time to stop and grieve. When I try to work on a memory page for him, I just bust out in tears. Kona was such a “Larger Than Life Personality” his absence has created a big black hole. The absence of the energy he exuded is certainly noticed. The other fur babies have noticed too. Jasmine, Kona’s girlfriend, is not herself and it just makes it worse to see the other fur babies suffering the loss. Sorry to be so long winded. I’m going to share some pics of our pesky, comical, loving and crazy Kona. The baby I am holding in my arms for the “About Me” picture is Kona. He would love for me to sing to him softly while holding him like a baby. Mike snapped this photo during one those sappy sessions.

Be blessed and love your babies. They are such a huge part of our heart and family, it just doesn't seem right to call them pets.









17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very very sorry. :-(

Sue from Oregon said...

Oh I am so sorry to read of your news. Hugs.

pam said...

i am soooo sorry....a month ago we lost our furbaby Mugsy to a virulent cancer....he was diagnosed last december, had major surgery then, but the cancer had a 98% chance of recurring. he was rescued from a humane society shelter as a tiny kitten and gave us 14 years of pleasure...what a curious, loving ball of fur he was. we also have a hole in our hearts.

you are right, they are much more than "pets"....

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth i feel sooo sorry for you, I know how you feel. I do hope you find the strenght to go back to normal life again and remember him in you're heart forever.

Warm hugs from the Netherlands, Ellen

Karen said...

so sorry to hear your heartbreaking news, so sad...such beautiful photos of him...can see how extra special he was. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Our fur babies are just as much a part of our families as our human families, even better sometimes :) I am so very sorry for your loss, but I know that you will find comfort that you were able to be home at the end.

Janice Webb said...

Hugs and my deepest sympathy to you and your family for the loss of Kona. I relate so well to what you wrote...I have tears in my eyes as I type this.

Rest in Peace Kona.

The Cricut Lady said...

Elizabeth,
I am very sorry for your loss. I know how much your babies mean to you. Take comfort in knowing that he knew he was loved very much by both you and Mike.I know the pain is horrible but don't forget the good memories while you grieve. Hug the others alittle tighter.
Lori

Joan B said...

Elizabeth, I am so sorry. What beautiful pictures. I am glad you were able to make it home in time. Hugs, Joan B

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for you.I"m an animal lover also. We have two dogs we rescued or should I say they rescue us. They are part of our family. We have two beautiful daughters and six different animals. I can't say no. They know what you need and when you need it. I feel for you.I have lost pets as a child and as an adult. The hurt is the same no matter how old you are. Also if someone doesn't understand what you are feeling then I feel sorry for them. They never had a pet as a friend, buddy,and the love of your heart. Again deepest sympathy.

doverdi said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my almost 13 year old husky/collie cross a year ago & it still hurts. I also want to do a memory page of her but I still can't look at her pictures without crying. Less than a month after she passed, my 15 year old cat passed away too. It was so hard losing both of my furbabies in less than a month. I'm still not over them nor have I gone as far as getting another furbaby.

JustCrazy4Scrapen said...

OH Elizabeth, this just breaks my heart and makes me smile. Kona was truly blessed to have a wonderful family you. So many cats are wild, it makes me sad to see them. We adopted our cat 6 years ago, and recently had to take him to the emergency vet, he couldn't potty. We were so scared. Thankfully, for us is well, but I just knew he wasn't going to make it. We joke that he's our dog cat...he comes when I whistle, he begs for milk and food and loves to snuggle.

I hope that in time your loss becomes more bearable.

hugs~
Lisa

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much these trusting little blessings from above mean to us. Huggggssss Mary

Wanda in NC said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. I know how hard that is to lose one of our babies. I'm glad she gave you all such enjoyment though - and I'm thankful you all were there for HER (saying this as a have tears rolling down my face). Thanks for helping the animals - I have 3 kitty babies.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for the loss of Kona. Here is a poem especially for our most loved pets:

RAINBOW BRIDGE
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Dani from Northern Territory,
Australia

Mary Kai said...

i'm so sorry to read that you lost Kona. I know how important your fur babies are and have been to you. I hope you are finding happiness in the memories that you shared with Kona.

Much Love, Mary

StampDancer said...

Elizabeth - I am SO sorry about losing Kona, too. I remember you telling me you were going to be going to Las Vegas and then I didn't have an opportunity to see you since then. Deb from SpringStampdancers meetup.