Sunday, November 29, 2009

Missing a part of my heart

**ALERT** No card updates, just sad news and sappy reminiscing. If you only visit for paper crafting updates, you can skip this post.

I have been dreading an update to the blog due to the way our Vegas trip ended. The Vegas trip was so nice and VERY RELAXING. It was wonderful not having to rush around completing tasks like a chicken with my head cut off, but the vacation ended poorly. We weren't supposed to get into Houston until 10pm Monday night. Starting Saturday night the little voice in my head, which I call God, was telling me over and over and over we needed to get home early Monday so we could pick up the fur babies from boarding one day early. I did all I could to get us on that plane early Monday morning. Plane landed, we headed straight for boarding center to pick up the fur babies. All was well until several hours after we arrived home. Kona started hiding under the bed, which he NEVER does. He is usually in the same room with us being playful and loving on us. This was not the case. We started watching him. He became lethargic then close to 10 pm, he started howling and crying in pain when we were loving on him. We rushed him to the Emergency clinic to find out he had Arterial Thromboembolism. Basically blood clot killed him after causing deep pain paralysis, hence the howling caused by the pain. We didn't get home until 3am. While researching this disease, I found this is something that doesn't show signs or any kind of warning and 95% of the time they pass within 24 - 48 hours.

Despite the lack of sleep, I forced myself go to work Tuesday. I just couldn’t lie around and cry. It hurt too much and I felt like I was going to die from the pain and grief. I was practically non-functional. I really believe these babies are our family and in some cases, closer than regular family.

I now know why God was telling me to go home early. I never would have forgiven myself if we received a call that morning letting us know he was already gone. God sent us home so that Kona would have his loving parents with him in has last hours.

I want to have a memory layout dedicated to him, but it’s still too early in the grieving process. I realized I am scheduling way too many things than I am capable of completing to occupy my time and keep from thinking about what happened. You know how you keep yourself so busy, you don’t have time to stop and grieve. When I try to work on a memory page for him, I just bust out in tears. Kona was such a “Larger Than Life Personality” his absence has created a big black hole. The absence of the energy he exuded is certainly noticed. The other fur babies have noticed too. Jasmine, Kona’s girlfriend, is not herself and it just makes it worse to see the other fur babies suffering the loss. Sorry to be so long winded. I’m going to share some pics of our pesky, comical, loving and crazy Kona. The baby I am holding in my arms for the “About Me” picture is Kona. He would love for me to sing to him softly while holding him like a baby. Mike snapped this photo during one those sappy sessions.

Be blessed and love your babies. They are such a huge part of our heart and family, it just doesn't seem right to call them pets.